The stairs

My stairs has 29 balustrades – these are the legs that hold up the bannister (where you put your hand – or ass – if sliding down).

Each one has a 4 sided head and foot on it so it fits the stairs and bannister.

Each one needs at least 2 coats of good for the environment, open toed sandal, tofu water based eggshell paint. If you’re scratching your head about this paint let me just tell you that it is shit. It’s the sort of product invented to keep eurocrats happy that painters aren’t getting high on the fumes from oil based paints. The only up side to this shit paint is that you can wash out your brush with plain water. Believe me when I say that is not much of an up side.

Anyway, back to the sums. 29 balustrades with 2 of these ends is 58 ends. Each with 4 sides is 232 sides. Each with 2 coats of paint is 464 dips of the brush in the pot, adjusting the paint load on the brush, cutting in the paint to the stairs/bannister and then actually painting the thing.

This is what I was doing last night when I should have been sitting on the sofa and fighting with my conscience about extra-judicial killings. I also realised that solvent based paints are useful for tuning out your brain so you can get on with the numbing task of painting a stairs.

If you ever have the good/bad luck (delete as appropriate) to visit my house free  beer will be yours if you admire the professional paint job on the balustrades. If you say something innocent like ‘you missed a bit’ beer will be the last thing on your mind.


One response to “The stairs

  1. I’ve had some experience with such “numbing tasks” Richard but you should be feeling a sense of accomplishment. When the effects of the paint thinner wear off anyway.
    Well done.
    I’ll be round for those beers one day!

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