A trick I learned in the army

OK, the running first.

Yesterday I drifted into the realm of sore toe nails and a zen like acceptance of pain.

I ran 32.12 miles yesterday morning before lunch. It took about 5 hours and I consumed enough junk food to make a student in a bedsit feel embarrassed. This week’s Sunday morning junk food festival contained 2 rice crispie squares, 1 energy gel, 1 kinder pingu bar (I just made that name up, in case you’re about to google it), 1 tub of banana custard,  1 bottle of banana milk, 1 bottle of water and 2 bottles of flat coke.

the flat coke was a bit of a new thing for me. I can see the attraction as it gives you a bit of a caffeine kick.

This run topped off a week of 56 miles which is the top of my training for this ultra and at least shows that I haven’t worn the legs down to stumps. From here on in it is a taper down to shorter longer runs.

For anyone who thinks that 32 miles is a long way to run all I can say is that it is but the funny thing is that the first 8 miles are tougher than the last 8 miles. I’m sure that might seem strange but it is proof that you mainly run these distances with your mind.

By the way, the reason you run them with your mind is because you can’t feel your feet.

Anyway, the tickets are booked and I’ll be off to see if deep fried mars bars are the missing ingredient in my ultra-junk food menu.

Now, the blog post title refers to many different things. In our family it is the space occupied by the venn diagram of common sense and stuff the kid’s mother wouldn’t approve of.

So, a good example of a trick I learned in the army in our family would be having a sneaky piss in the back garden (for the kids, not me, of course). If you were on a stag weekend you might substitute the back garden with the hotel wash basin to achieve the same trick in the army.

Do you have any tricks you learnt in the army (metaphorically for everyone except Dave)?

In the realms of marathon running a trick I learned in the army might include taping you nipples or pissing in a doorway before the start. You only have to make the mistake once to realise that in these situations demand that you lower the  gun sights of your social standards.

I am starting to learn that ultra running involves a whole new suite of tricks in the army.

Urban shitting never sounded so chic.

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One response to “A trick I learned in the army

  1. Things I learned in the army……..maybe you’ve motivated me to blog post. I prefer to read yours these days.

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