Searching

This post has no direction and could have several titles (hypochondria being one of them).

I have been artificially disconnected from the world of ‘internet friends’ for the past few days as I was treated to a lie in on Sunday morning only to discover that the price of the lie in was no internet for 2 days.

No, the wife didn’t pull me from the milky teat of fibre powered broadband.

My son pissed in the router.

A phone call to tech support followed that included the line: I think a liquid might have been spilled on it……..

Anyway,

Am I terminally ill or just suffering from pre-race nerves?

I feel like shit. Man-flu shit. Eating vitamin C all day shit.

I’m hoping this is just the sluggishness before a race and not some real man-flu which would be disappointing.

I’m also suffering from some random bouts of pre-race nerves.

I won’t elaborate on them too much but needless to say I now own a pair of arm warmers.

As I walked from the shop I felt like I was an Arab and had just been sold some sand.

A pair of tights with the toes cut off would be cheaper and probably look cooler.

I am blaming a guy in Japan who has them in his profile photo.

Also, on a totally random point I was watching the tail end of some program on TV the other night about a Buddhist monk (or a Lama – that’s a guru to us non-Buddhists) who was exiled in London and was trying to get back to Tibet. He wasn’t having much luck with that one, what with our addiction to consumerism and willingness to whistle and look the other way as China acts the maggot.

Anyway, at the end of the documentary he does a piece to camera and it made me thing – I could be a Lama, I knew that!

What he said was that everybody is searching for something in life. Some are searching for wealth, some for happiness, some for power but that all these searches are for the same thing -inner peace.

The crazy eating habits of some, the crazy running habits of others, these are just searches for something inside that makes us feel at one and happy (i.e. at peace). As a runner I like to think that the running gives me the peace to be able to see these things.

I suspect, although I haven’t flicked to the last chapter of the book of life yet, that the searching is the actual destination. Kind of, if you’re working to be free it’s the work that makes you free. I am aware that this is out there on the thin ice of sounding like the lyrics of a U2 song but I only realised that as I was re-reading this.

The only down side to inner peace seems to be that it is hard to take a firm view on anything. I find myself (not that I have inner peace – just ask my wife) being fairly non-committal on lots of things – the opposite of teenage love/hate of everything. – very analogue –

That is as deep as I get with no alcohol in me.

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2 responses to “Searching

  1. Before reading this I had a lot of nagging questions! Now I only have one. What was the point of writing this?!

    No, no brilliant stuff as usual Richard, still it would be interesting to read the drunk version!

  2. I agree that running brings inner peace – our good wives don’t see it because they never comes on a run with us (perhaps the reason for the inner peace in the first place). Best of luck in RAW, you’ve done the training so no need to shit a brick (although i’d bring some bog roll just in case)

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