Parade of misfits

Not much running in this blog post, unless you count the 7 misfits hoping to become the next Irish President.

The election is nearly upon us.

Our president is not like the US President but is more like a cross between the Queen and the German President (who, I hear you ask? Exactly, I reply).

Benevolent, pointless, pulls in a huge salary for being a bit of a clothes horse and generally exists to keep a big house occupied.

Anyway, we have seven candidates running for election. All of them in equal parts utterly competent and utterly incompetent.

If you’re used to twitter these descriptions might help you understand who we can vote for:

Martin McGuinness – a bold boy who likes his maps all the one colour (green).

Bold boy

David Norris – the love child of Oscar Wilde and James Joyce.

The sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotumtightening sea

Michael D. Higgins – a hairdresser voiced, poetry spouting crypto-communist leprechaun.

He's wearing platforms, they're talking about poetry.

Dana Rosemary Scallon – 1970’s eurovision winner who has found God and want to save us too.

All kinds of everything as long as it's catholic

Gay Mitchell – see Dana with out the singing but with stubble. And a flat Dublin accent.

Like a cup of weak tea...with skimmed milk and no sugar

Sean Gallagher – A Dragon’s Den Dragon with genetic links to the fools who sailed us onto the rocks of insolvency. He’s blind-ish.

Our new president......

Mary Davis – Air brushed corset wearing ego who loves herself more than we do. Never learned any verb past the first person possessive. I, Me, My, etc.

Looks by Adobe and make-up by Polyfilla

The Dragon’s Den fella will win.

They say a lot of things.

They say you get the politicians you deserve.

If you live in the UK you get a pseudo-upper-class bunch of public school barristers. If you live here you get school teachers.

They say those who can’t, teach.

Well, in Ireland, those who can’t teach become politicians.

We deserve it.

We’ll never learn.

Have a read off of this blog on whole thing –

He’s less benevolent than me but sums it up pretty well (and I came to my conclusions independently of him….great minds think alike…..fools never….)

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7 responses to “Parade of misfits

  1. I feel for you. Strangely, and much to the disgust of my former colleagues from another life, Martin seems the only choice to me.

    • I tend to agree although I’ll probably give my vote to the homosexual. This is a pretty petty parochial place. To be honest I think Martin is just working on establishing himself and the shinners to be more mainstream. You have to give it to them, they are good at strategy.

  2. This is so depressing. Fianna Fail have only been out of office for half a year and already they are going to vote their candidate in as president. We really do get the government we deserve, we obviously really deserve to get fucked like that.

  3. The chances of Ireland being internationally embarassed next week are pretty high!! I’m glad I’m not there – at least no-one can hold me responsible!
    I don’t know what scares me more – McGuinness or Dana!!!

  4. Rich did you remove the “Bold Boy” picture or is someone censuring your blog??? In any case it’s not appearing on my computer any more!!!

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