As a 15 year old boy trapped in the aging body of a man that word makes me laugh.
During the past week I had my annual wandering-around-Decathlon-while-on-holidays event. As the years pass my need for pointless and cheap sports consumer goods seems to diminish (I wish I could say the same for my kids and wife) but as a creature of habit I still find myself wandering the gymkhana aisle wondering if I would look good in riding britches or whether my life would be fuller and more satisfying if I owned a sailing jacket or another bicycle light.
This time I made it out alive with only three semi-pointless purchases:
- a hammock. Who’s life isn’t fuller for owning (another) hammock? Now to plant some trees.
- A fold-up knapsack. Somehow this will be useful.
- Another pair of running shorts.
The running shorts seem to have been designed with functionality in mind and not any sense of style or self respect.
The shorts were picked up in the trail running section of the shop and have some voluminous pockets for carrying food on long trail or ultra marathon races. Ask any long distance runner about kit and they will tell you that comfortable shorts with big pockets are a must.
The key difference with this pair of shorts is that rather than have long pockets that double as a testicular cancer checking devices in the traditional down the sides of the legs position they are situated in a kind of cummerbund across your mid-rift.
Fashionable they ain’t. When you pull them on you feel like you’re pulling on a pair of pregnancy pants.
But they work. You can stash a phone and a heap of food in them and everything stays put.